We all want a partner when we start a new and (possibly) scary endeavor. Unfortunately, good partners are few and far between. Even your SO might be reluctant or downright refuse even though you think this new thing is the best ever.
This path is a lonely one. This path is also a challenging one if you live with someone that doesn't want to join your diet and exercise escapades. In order to get through without wanting to slap them for being so flippant toward your new goals, there are boundaries you have to set up. The sooner you draw these lines in the sand, the happier both of you will be.
Take Back Food Time
When two people live together, meals are shared. It's just what happens. One person likes to cook. The other likes to eat.
However, now that you're dieting, this will need to change. If you're the cook, your partner might not be keen on all the extra veggies or chicken. If they cook, they're not going to want to change what they like to make and they shouldn't have to. This is your decision, and you need to own it.
Though you don't have to stop meal times, you do need to let them know that you'll be making you're own food from now on. If you go out to eat a lot, tell them you're cutting back and need to eat from home more often.
Don't Judge & Don't Let them Judge
Getting healthy is tied up with a lot of personal issues for many. After all, it's admitting to yourself that you have certain bad habits. While many of us can do this no problem, just as many have an issue even imagining they could be wrong.
Because of this, there may be some initial animosity between you and those you live with. You might get frustrated with them for not wanting to change. They might get frustrated with you for leaving them behind. It's a complicated issue with no right or wrongs.
Though you don't have the power to change everything, you have to power to control how you deal with such a situation. If they seem jealous, offer to take them to the gym, workout with them or eat healthy with them. Should they resist and stay jealous, let them be. They'll change only when they want to and no amount of rage from you will change that.
If you feel frustrated, again, offer to bring them along. See if you can't help them or at least figure out why they're so reluctant. Once you get to the real reason they don't want to, then progress can be made. Unfortunately, this little bit of honesty can be buried under years of denial or self-hatred. Don't think one talk will suddenly open their eyes for good. It takes time and positive encouragement.
Be Aware of Time
Working out takes up time. Before you set your schedule in stone, remember to be sensitive to special time you and your partner share. It might be that every Friday night you play video games and get drunk. Maybe on Saturdays you head out to a movie. Whatever it is, keep that time for them. You can always get a good workout in before work or school. This will keep tension low because it will stop them from seeing the gym as competition.
Now, if they're clingy, put your foot down. Set up a schedule for time with them if necessary.
Never Let Them Talk Down to You
Finally, be ultra aware of belittling comments that equate to nothing more than, "you doing x makes me feel bad about myself, so stop doing x."
Things like, "you eating healthy all the time makes me feel like a fatty" or "you don't look different" can be funny things however there is a very thin line between when this is meant as a joke and when it's meant to chink away at your determination.
Be hyper aware of this and never let it slide if it happens. If you feel it is and underhanded blow, diffuse it immediately. This does not mean start a fight. They want you to fight. By not engaging them with any negativity, you immediately ruin their intentions.
As for how to respond, I've always enjoyed playing "yes, and..." It's a wonderful improv game that works really well to turn people's statements against them. The concept is simple -- agree with the statement and then add more to validate the statement.
For example: "You don't look different." can be met with "I know! I've actually been sitting in my room this entire week. I think the hardest thing I've done is lift a pencil."
Usually they'll stop and go on about their day. If not, keep going down the rabbit hole and see just how outlandish your story can become.
In addition, if they keep making these statements, stop telling them anything about your venture no matter how hard they ask. Reply with one word answers and then drop the subject. Anything they know about it they'll use against you as ammo. If you starve them of information, they'll have nothing to attack you with.
Co-host of HeroesForge, founder of Battle to Be Better, gamer, singer and all around happy person.